相关性与连贯性
——第十四届“四川外国语大学—《英语世界》杯”翻译大赛汉译英点评
文/蔡力坚
例1:刻下今天,抗拒遗忘
译文① Engrave today, resist forgetting
译文② Carve this day to resist oblivion
译文③ Let’s mark today to remember
例2:我曾记过一阵日记,从开始的日日记,到后来的隔日记,再到后来的不知隔多少日记,终于有一天把日记本尘封在写字台的某个抽屉角落里了。我也曾与好友仔细回想,在何时何地哪一个场合第一次遇见,却相顾茫然。
译文① I kept a diary for a while, from the daily diary at the beginning, to the every other diary, and then I don’t know how many diaries later, and finally one day I sealed the diary in a corner of a drawer of the desk. I have also carefully recalled with my friends, when, where and on what occasion they met for the first time, but they were at a loss.
译文② I once kept a diary for a period. At the beginning, I recorded every day. Then the daily routine went down to every other day and later it was done at even longer intervals as loosely as thought necessary. Until one day, my diary was buried in the corner of a desk drawer for good. I had also reflected with a friend on our first encounter, but we seemed dazed and were unable to recount the details of when and where it occurred.
译文③ I had kept a diary for a period of time, reducing the daily record at the outset to the diary every two days, and finally to the diary at irregular intervals. Eventually, I left it idle in the corner of the writing desk’s certain drawer. One day, one of my close friends and I wanted to reminisce in detail about when, where and why we first met. It turned out that we looked at each other at a loss.
例3:我们记住了海潮翻腾,侧耳又听见大江大河奔涌怒吼;记住了大江大河的浪高声宏,耳边又传来远处的人声鼎沸……
译文① When tumultuous tides leave their imprints on our retinas, the resounding roars of rivers and oceans echo in our eardrums. As these sounds sink into our minds, the clamor of distant voices draws near…
译文② We remembered the churning of the sea tide, and heard the rushing and roaring of the great river; we remembered the high and loud waves of the great river, and heard the distant voices of people in our ears.
译文③ Our attention dances from the tumultuous tides to the echoing roar of grand rivers, from the towering waves and thundering rivers to the distant hum of human voices.
例4:热点似乎一个接着一个,连时尚流行都以百倍的速度在此起彼伏,每个似乎都在沸点上翻滚。可新的记忆总是一页页压过旧的,遗忘总在这样不知不觉的侧耳、挪移间发生。
译文① Hot spots seem to follow one after another, and even fashion trends come and go at a hundredfold speed, and each seems to be rolling over the boiling point. But new memories always overwhelm the old ones page by page, and forgetting always happens in this kind of unconscious listening and moving.
译文② With hot spots springing up constantly, even the fashion trends, despite the transient nature, spread out and may reach peak fervor within days or minutes. Hailing the start of new chapters, memory, though, invariably allows the past to fade unconsciously as we loaf around and tilt our ears away.
译文③ Hot topics emerge one after another, and even fashion trends rise and fall at a dizzying pace, each seemingly bubbling at the boiling point. Yet, akin to pages of a book, new memories always eclipse fading ones as forgetfulness ensues unwittingly amidst those distractions and fluctuations.
例5:而更多时候,生活的形态,又是屡屡重复的。连古人都说,“年年岁岁花相似”,相似的花,相似的叶,总是最不容易区分的。
译文① More often than not, various forms of life are highly repetitive. Even ancient Chinese wisdom believed that “flowers are similar year in and year out.” Given their similarity, flowers and leaves are always the least readily distinguishable.
译文② More often than not, the modalities of life recur time and again. As put by an ancient Chinese poet, year in year out, flowers are resemblant... Similar flowers and leaves are always the least distinguishable.
译文③ And often, the forms of life are repetitive. As our ancients said long ago, “Each year and every year, the blossoms return anew.” Similar blooms and foliage are the most difficult to differentiate.
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